So many people neglect the all important stocking stuffer gift. Today the decorative footwear usually just hangs impotently over a spurious gas powered fireplace with a plastic log inside, begging to be filled with treats and candies. In most houses I seriously doubt that people even hang the stockings at all; its just another $10 wasted on some home decor that gets overshadowed by the nativity scene and chorus of singing robotic penguins. This year I suggest you bust out those cherished holiday booties and fill them with the food your obsessive friend craves; junk food!
Have you ever entered your friend's room and noticed the mound of empty Mountain Dew cans or the field of silvery Pop-tart wrappers lining the floor? Ever get the feeling that everything they own is covered in a thin layer of Dorito particulates? Well, there's an explanation for all of this. Whether they spent the previous evening pwning newbs or reading Neil Gaiman's "American Gods" for the 100th time, you can be certain that these inhuman feats of endurance and stamina came courtesy of companies like the Pepsi Corporation. So why not give them that little extra spark of energy they need this Christmas by stuffing their garish red socks with all the sugar salted brain stimulants they could hope for.
I bought a case of mountain dew throwback . . . made with real sugar. I am enjoying a can right now as I type this post. :) Here's to you Aaron! :-D
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