Ravenous Winter Festival Geeky Shopping Guide. Day 24: Love

Yes, it's cliche, trite, and sappy but I don't know a single person who couldn't use a bucket load of friendship and love during this chilly winter season. Whether they be geeks, jocks, squares, preps, freaks, fashionistas, emos, workaholics, straightedges, or even grinches everyone appreciates the company of others to remind us that this world can be a magical place so long as we have one another. So avert your eyes from that new television or smartphone for just a moment and enjoy the company of others.

Go on! Why are you sitting there reading this blog?! Have a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanuka, Crazy Kwanzaa, Willy Winter Solstice, or whatever; it's cold outside and you're not going anywhere so you might as well spend some time with those you care for.

Ravenous Winter Festival Geeky Shopping Guide. Day 23: Dolls

No self respecting nerd will admit to it but we all play with dolls. We may call them miniatures or action figures but let's face it, they're dolls. This is nothing to be ashamed of, okay maybe it is, but it isn't necessarily unusual.

So put aside any preconceptions or biases you might have with grown adults owning a plushy of their favorite super hero and allow them to embrace their inner geek. Heck, some of them even fire projectile weaponry, you can't get more manly than that!... alright, you win, it is pretty lame. Don't judge us! Dispense with the toys!

Ravenous Winter Festival Geeky Shopping Guide. Day 22: The Old New

Believe it or not but new games are still coming out for all of your old gaming consoles. From the Atari 2600 to the Sega Dreamcast, indie developers are hard at work trying to reclaim some of that old magic from yesteryears. Now I know what you are thinking, isn't this what you talked about earlier this month? No, then I was talking about actual classic games that came out nearly 2 to 3 decades ago. These games, while they are intended for ancient hardware, were created just recently. So if you have a fan of old school gaming, why not buy them one of these gems, they'll reinvigorate your friend's spirit with a bit of nostalgia while simultaneously treating them to a brand new experience. How often does that happen? Not often at all; it's a unique gift that few think of and one that can't be topped.

Ravenous Winter Festival Geeky Shopping Guide. Day 21: The Cheese

Garbage day, everyone! With the holidays rapidly approaching we'll soon be buried knee deep in the fallout of the winter season. But don't throw out that trash just yet, you may unwillingly dispose of a priceless gift opportunity! For reasons far beyond my understanding, bad things are seen as golden calves amongst nerdish social circles. Whether they be intentional or unintended travesties, geeks embrace these mistakes of artistic creation with more love and affection than should be legally allowed.

So forget about all the new Oscar worthy films and the games that are getting all the rave reviews. Go dig yourself up a 20 year old gem that should not have even seen the first signs of daylight and pass on the shiny new product proudly displayed on current store shelves. Much like a fine wine or cheese these things take time and a refined sense of taste to see them for what they truly are. Garbage; but garbage that deserves some appreciation.

Ravenous Winter Festival Geeky Shopping Guide. Day 20: Communal Gifts

We nerds have a nasty tendency to lock ourselves in our rooms. Not that we hate company or anything, we just enjoy a little solitary confinement so that we can go uninterrupted whilst doing our geeky things. This isn't to say that we don't want others to volunteer their time to hang out with us, in fact we look forward to it.

Instead of getting your friend a gift that they will probably be using alone, buy them something that encourages group play. Purchase a multi-player console game or a board game, something that will get you all together in one room and spend some quality time with one another. Online games don't count either, it has to be something that forces people to interact with one another in the same room. The novelty may not last past the first month but the memories will linger; that I can guarantee you.

Ravenous Winter Festival Geeky Shopping Guide. Day 19: Anything Related to Zombies

To take one look at modern American culture is to stare directly into the zombie vortex. Don't ask me why, but everyone and their mothers is a fan of zombie culture right now to the point where you can't swing a dead cat without hitting a die hard fan. Since its the season of giving and joy, why not buy your friend something to satisfy their brain cravings. This gift goes hand in hand with robots by the way.

Ravenous Winter Festival Geeky Shopping Guide. Day 18: Class

While your friend may be in desperate need of social refinement and etiquette training, today's topic is quite literally about enrollment in classes that provide education in vocational skills. One unifying trait that is shared amongst all nerds is their obsessive focus and devotion towards the development of certain skills that are aberrant from his/her peers. since a new year is right around the corner, new winter courses will be opening at your local colleges and community centers that can teach your friends all they need to know about a plethora of diverse subjects.

Perhaps you have someone who is interested in learning some programming languages? Maybe there's an avid art buff you know who wants to begin learning the basics or augment their already impressive skills. Then there is the friend who desperately clings to the notion that they will one day write the next great American screenplay, but doesn't have a clue as to how a screenplay is actually composed. Fear not, for all of these things can be learned in classes held all across the country; and for those of you who live in the middle of nowhere, remember that in this digital age there is bound to be an online course or correspondence that can offer some tutelage to any would-be apprentice/acolyte. So grab your check book (because this stuff ain't cheap) and treat your friend to the gift of knowledge. Who knows, years from now you may actually see money back on this investment (but probably not).

Ravenous Winter Festival Geeky Shopping Guide. Day 17: Robots

Buy one! It's every nerds dream come true! Ok, they are a bit pricey but if all else fails just buy them a cheap robotic toy and put it in their stalking. There, Merry Christmas!

Ravenous Winter Festival Geeky Shopping Guide. Day 16: That New Thing

You may have noticed an exuberant appreciation for all things nostalgic on this list of holiday goodies. However, that shouldn't stop you from getting your friend that brand new item that just hit store shelves.

let me get serious with you all for one moment. Being a nerd is difficult. Aside from being a social outcast, most geeky types have to also endure the struggles of general ineptitude towards common logic and find a way to cope with the uncomfortable reality of being imprisoned within a body not tailor-made for copious amounts of physical activity. Most of us are striving desperately to fit in and while it may be shallow to say this, the advertisers are the gospel of our times. Like it or hate it, a large part of being popular is having access to the instruments that define contemporary pop-culture. The kid who owns all the cool games, movies, music, and toys is going to probably cultivate a much larger group of friends and establish a healthier social network than the person who is forced to make due with his/her decade old junk. Again, this shouldn't necessarily shy you away from getting all those previous gifts I have mentioned on this list, but bear in mind that having something a little more fresh on the wish list may just elevate them to that next rung on the social ladder.

Ravenous Winter Festival Geeky Shopping Guide. Day 15: Clean-up

let's face it, we nerdy types are not setting any sort of benchmarks in cleanliness. Walking into our rooms will quickly give our guests a sense that they have stumbled across some sort of war exhibit in a museum. It's not that we don't care about upkeep or are fearless in the face of germs, its just one of those things that falls to the back of our minds since there are so many more pressing matters at hand, like having that "Dr. Who".

This year, if you are looking for one of those gifts that's more for you than it is for your friend, then by all means feel free to hire a cleaning person to come around and tidy up that pig pen that they claim used to be a room. Sure, they'll fuss and moan, but in the end it will be beneficial to both parties. Nothing says, "I'm ready to paint my miniatures" quite like a spotless room with plenty of elbow room to move around in. If all else fails, you can get them nothing and force them to do their own dirty work.

Ravenous Winter Festival Geeky Shopping Guide. Day 14: Audio Books

Reading is great but it eats up a lot of time. Every now and then it would be a treat if we could absorb a great book without having to go through all that hassle of sitting down and quietly reading. In a world that now encourages multi-tasking and getting more and more stuff done within a single day, there's nothing finer than an audio book.

I'm not preaching the merits of audio books because I'm lazy or anything, well maybe partially, but audio books are a completely different experience unlike any other form of story telling. They harken back to the primitive age when verbally communicating stories was the only way to share an idea. There's definitely something exciting about this method and it works rather well today. Thanks in large part to the internet, radio dramas are even having a come back, and guess what? You can purchase those dramas on CD or download them to your apple products.

Even if you have a friend who is not too keen on the whole idea, or is a snob who refuses to put down their books, you might as well give the audio format a try. They complain now, but when they are driving to work, are on their lunch break, or when they are working on their computer at home, they will at some point load up that audio and start playing it in the background. Life is sadly too busy for books, so get them a format they can use anywhere.

Ravenous Winter Festival Geeky Shopping Guide. Day 13: Feed Their Addictions

Piggy backing off yesterday's topic I wanted to take a moment to discuss entertainment that requires upkeep. In this day of internet capable phones and instant streaming to our televisions a lot of services have gone online, even books, and in an effort to continue to generate revenue (those greedy jerks) companies have instituted various ways of allowing downloaded content via subscription fees or online currency systems. You're only a gift card or credit card payment away from adding points to their online account, thus allowing them to continue to absorb all the great things that keep them away from you so that you can have some peace and quiet once in a while.

Again, similar to the post about magazines, the gift card or money deposit depends highly on what they like to do. If they are really into purchasing songs and movies for their i products, why not get them a gift card for online purchases through the Apple store? You can also purchase them more time on their online gaming or even get them a subscription to the brand new miracles of the modern age like the Marvel digital comic book plan.

What's best about this present is that it doesn't require a whole lot of thought on your part. Instead of racking your mind trying to think of that perfect gift idea you can just give them more of what they already enjoy. Yes, thanks to the wondrous invention of online transactions (Which you strangely owe a lot of credit towards the porno industry for), you can maintain a healthy relationship with your friends and loved ones with very little thought or effort!

Ravenous Winter Festival Geeky Shopping Guide. Day 12: Magazines

No matter what your friend's interests may be I can guarantee you that there is a magazine that specializes in it. From cars, movies, video games, music, and comic books there are enough publications out there to satisfy all kinds of cravings. Even if your friend isn't the type to read magazines, or read anything at all for that matter, they will definitely appreciate a colorful and compact source of information to thumb through on a periodic basis.

Most magazines allow for different subscription plans so choose one that you feel will be best. Also remember that while most magazines do monthly issues there are some that go as low as weekly and others that churn them out on a quarterly plan. It's best to keep this in mind as it allows you to gauge whether or not it would be an appropriate gift based on your friend's level of patience.

You should also keep an ear to the ground and look for things that fall into more fringe categories. Seeing as how we live in the age of the internet, most information is a web address or blog post away from being public knowledge. So instead of buying them, say, a general magazine about movie news, why not get them a subscription to a smaller publication that focuses on a sub genre like "Fangoria"?

I'll leave the rest up to you as it takes a certain kind of friendship to be able to find just the right reading material that will actually keep your friend's nose to the ink.

Ravenous Winter Festival Geeky Shopping Guide. Day 11: Their Favorite Christmas Movie

Movies have a strangely hypnotic effect on people. The stories they weave are powerful enough to stir our deepest emotions and the ones associated with happier times cast an even stronger spell. The classic tales that spring up for their yearly rotation on channels such as TNT are more than just things of entertainment, they're moments of our lives attached to fond memories. Time capsules for our pasts. Holiday movies that appear around the end of the year celebrate some of the more redeeming qualities of mankind and do wonders to bring together friend and family; best of all, everyone has their favorite.

Whether you enjoy watching Chuck Jones' "How the Grinch Stole Christmas", the classic "A Christmas Story", more modern favorites like "Elf", or are into the unified double header "A Nightmare Before Christmas" there are enough movies out there to bring the brightest smiles to even the grumpiest of scrooges. Chances are, if you're a decent enough friend, you already know what movies your friend looks forward to once Halloween has come and past. Check to see whether they have that movie in their collection or if they're the type to just catch it whenever it finds it's way to their cable network line-up. Why not buy them a copy so they can enjoy it whenever they please, and to seal the deal make sure you watch it alongside them to truly take in all the greatness that Christmas movies can offer.

Ravenous Winter Festival Geeky Shopping Guide. Day 10: Cosplay

ladies, looking for that perfect gift for your boyfriend to spark the flame of romance this winter? Nothing sets the mood quite like dressing up as their favorite character from science fiction or fantasy. Instead of investing in a present that will only cause your guy to isolate himself within his room, this year pull his attention away from the TV and computer monitor by showing him your wild side.

With this gift there is a large range of options for every girl. For the more prudish and conservative types there are female characters like Power Armor Samus, while the more risque women can go for the whole Felicia look from "Darkstalkers". Also, don't labor under the false impression that an ample endowment is required for this to work. There is a large range of female characters that cater to all fruit sizes, from "Street Fighter's" more modest Cammy physiques to the "Soul Calibur" Ivy girls who are a single surgery away from removing all of their lower back problems.

So head on down to your local fabric store and get crackin' on that new outfit that will surely make this Christmas one of legend. Don't bother disposing with the outfit come January, you never know when the mood might arise or when a convention is afoot.

Ravenous Winter Festival Geeky Shopping Guide. Day 9: Console Upgrade

The only thing more pathetic than a gamer hopelessly attached to a single current gen system (anyone with even a shred of dignity will own two), is to be the person stuck with five year old tech. I understand that gaming consoles can be a little crippling to the wallet, but the modern systems have now been on the market for almost half a decade and have fallen considerably in price. Before you know it the knew 3ds will be upon us and within three years or so you can expect to see the next set of memory crunching graphic spewing titans of home entertainment set loose upon the market. Strike while the iron is hot and get your loved ones those dazzling creations of technical wonderment before they become obsolete.

While you're at it, throw in a game or two as well, unless you're a huge fan of expensive paper weights.

Ravenous Winter Festival Geeky Shopping Guide. Day 8: First Aid

Believe it or not, but the life style of us meek and obsessive types has a lot of potential health hazards. From Carparl tunnel to scoliosis, it's a wonder how we survive at all. To keep your friends up and running like the little computers that they are, you need to do a bit of scheduled maintenance once in a while, otherwise you'll be throwing them away in a matter of months for some brand new top-of-the-line model. So here's some suggestions on how to keep your nerd a well oiled machine for years to come (not that they need any oiling since most of them probably have plenty of lubricant located somewhere near their computer. Just sayin').

Most of their hobbies from watching movies, reading books, listening to music, or painting miniatures are done while sitting down, a comfortable chair would be a nice upgrade from that rotted old apple crate they've been resting upon. Do they do a lot of reading? Why not get them a nice reading light? Eye sight is very important to many of them so think of ways to help them see without the need to strain their vision, this may extend beyond the simple gift of a new light source. A comfortable set of headphones is probably a step in the right direction for your music lover. Those painfully cheap ear buds make it feel like your ear canal was recently molested by your ipad once you take them out. Honestly, this list is pretty much endless and while I could go on listing more gift ideas I think you can figure it out from here. This is a gift they may not appreciate at first, but after a week's time they will be singing your praise for the preventative measures put in place to battle the many crippling side effects of leading the fanatical life.

Ravenous Winter Festival Geeky Shopping Guide. Day 7: Event Tickets

Bust out your pen and notepad, today's topic requires a little bit of homework.

Do you have a friend that is patient? The kind of person that understands the value of of something even if its functionality takes a bit of time to see any returns on? Well, here's a fun little gift idea I know they'll enjoy. This holiday, buy them tickets to an event that you know will warm their hearts.

All throughout the year, large tours and conventions spring up all across the country which are catered directly towards those who have a certain fondness for all things nerdy. There are conventions like San Diego Con and Dragon Con, big movie events like Fantastic Fest, and even museum tours for Harry Potter and Star Trek. If you are fortunate enough to live in a big city and have the cosmos align perfectly for you, then there may be something happening near your hometown this December, for everyone else, there's the internet. Most of these large scale events are telegraphed months (sometimes even a year) in advance, meaning that you can buy tickets now for something that won't be around until November of next year. So go ahead and figure out what they would be interested in, find a place where you can get the tickets and purchase them now while they are cheap and available. Come this time next year, your friend will be glad you put so much thought and care into their gift. As a minor caveat make sure you supplement this gift with something they actually can use on Christmas day; the last thing you need is a daily reminder of how you got them "nothing" for Christmas for the next 11 months.

Ravenous Winter Festival Geeky Shopping Guide. Day 6: Fuel

So many people neglect the all important stocking stuffer gift. Today the decorative footwear usually just hangs impotently over a spurious gas powered fireplace with a plastic log inside, begging to be filled with treats and candies. In most houses I seriously doubt that people even hang the stockings at all; its just another $10 wasted on some home decor that gets overshadowed by the nativity scene and chorus of singing robotic penguins. This year I suggest you bust out those cherished holiday booties and fill them with the food your obsessive friend craves; junk food!

Have you ever entered your friend's room and noticed the mound of empty Mountain Dew cans or the field of silvery Pop-tart wrappers lining the floor? Ever get the feeling that everything they own is covered in a thin layer of Dorito particulates? Well, there's an explanation for all of this. Whether they spent the previous evening pwning newbs or reading Neil Gaiman's "American Gods" for the 100th time, you can be certain that these inhuman feats of endurance and stamina came courtesy of companies like the Pepsi Corporation. So why not give them that little extra spark of energy they need this Christmas by stuffing their garish red socks with all the sugar salted brain stimulants they could hope for.

Ravenous Winter Festival Geeky Shopping Guide. Day 5: Drew Struzan Art Book

Today marks my 100th post on the Feudal Cactus blog and to commemorate this monumental event I will be sharing with you a very special holiday gift idea that is very dear to my heart. Normally I suggest broad categories of items that you can buy for your friend, but today's topic is simply not the case. If someone you love is a huge movie buff (like myself) than you can't go wrong with buying them the art collection of Drew Struzan. Who's Drew Struzan, you ask? Well, let me educate you.

Remember back before the millennium switch when movie posters used to be cool? Back when they were all hand painted and provided an interesting narrative that gave you an idea of what to expect when entering the theater. Well, most of those iconic images (not all) were painted by renowned artist Drew Struzan, who gave us an entire generation of memorable movie posters to tantalize the hungry cinema masses. Today, movie posters are just uninspired composite shots of the actors staring out at the audience. What's even more shameful, is that many of these posters have taken their compositional design and layout directly from Drew Struzan's style. Clearly a case where the students did not become the masters.

Thankfully, for those of us that remember a simpler time when real artistry was employed for movie advertisement, we can now own a book that contains all the great illustrations created by the master himself. By now you might be asking yourself, "Well, how do I know if my movie friend even cares for Drew Struzan artwork?" Great question, here's how you know. Are they over the age of 20? If yes, then buy them the book. If no, hit them over the head with the book. There, holiday shopping is complete.

Ravenous Winter Festival Geeky Shopping Guide. Day 4: Feigning Interest

You say that you have no money? That you can't scratch together enough spare change to even buy them a lollipop for their Christmas stocking, and you don't want to have to sell those classic Devo hats sitting in your closet for the extra cash needed for that all important gift. Worry not, for today I will be giving you some advice that won't cost you a thing other than your precious time.

Have you ever considered indulging your nerdy friend's zealotry by sitting down and stroking their ego for a little while? No, this isn't anything sexual, if it were I would have used cliche words like "yule log" in the previous sentence. Set aside a few hours/days around Christmas to listen to all their silly and borderline insane infatuations. You'll never know how little you knew or how little you cared about "Babylon 5" until you suffer through an eight hour rant fest with someone who hasn't seen the light of day in 7 months. By just lending an ear you'll go a long way towards making your friend happy.

While you're at it, also ask about their personal projects, whether they be a sci-fi epic they have been writing for the better part of a decade or those fanfics about the oh-so interesting topic of the apparent lesbian relationship between Asuka and Rei that you must have missed when they forced you to watch "Neon Genesis Evangelion". This might be painful but remember that it is free and what are a few hours of your time compared to the pints of blood sold for that "Inception" DVD they've been asking for. Actually, now that I analyzed this whole thing, just dish out the plasma and save yourself a trip to the psychiatrist.

Ravenous Winter Festival Geeky Shopping Guide. Day 3: Memorabilia

Who wants a stupid "Halo" video game when you can get a coffee mug with Commander Chief's mug on it? When you are out of money or looking to get a secondary gift to compliment the one you've already purchased, why not got for a charming souvenir?

Thanks to the miracle of disposable income, people just can't seem to keep money in their pockets these days. Companies, being the clever green eyed devils they are, have quickly pounced on this opportunity to supply a nearly endless wave of merchandise for the world to consume. Your friend may consider themselves to be the biggest "Lord of the Rings" fan on the planet, but do they have the chibi Frodo t-shirt? What about the Gimli stein? Didn't think so.

People in general (nerds especially) obsess over their hobbies and interests. Why not feed that insatiable desire by giving them yet another piece of collectible merchandise or apparel. This year, give them the underwear that shows to the world just how much they love "Star Wars" or "World of Warcraft". Or keep their dignity in tact and buy them a themed lunchbox instead; your call.

(Fans of "Calvin and Hobbes" do not apply)

Ravenous Winter Festival Geeky Shopping Guide. Day 2: Collector's Editions

We geeky types love our collector sets. Whether they include bonus material not found in a standard product, collect a series of important or related objects together into one affordable box, or simply come packaged in a pretty lithograph or sleeve we'll almost always go for the capitalist money grab with the bells and whistles. Don't ask me why this is a fact, but it is. Nerds just can't get enough of it and will proudly display their unique and rare collections for everyone to see.

There is one issue with this gift idea; collector's editions are almost always more expensive than the standard edition. Sometimes the price gouging is nothing more than a few extra bucks, in other instances it can nearly double the normal retail price, while others' price tags could be considered war crimes against your wallet (Gotta refresh my knowledge of the Geneva Conventions). Sadly, its a pretty steep price to pay for a bobblehead, production book, or extra disc but at the very least you can use the price as blackmail against the recipient for future favors. Ah, don't you love the holidays?

Ravenous Winter Festival Geeky Shopping Guide. Day 1: Vintage

Forget about that new video game, comic book, or movie that has just hit store shelves. Everyone and their mothers (mostly their mothers since they will be the ones doing the shopping) will predictably be elbowing each other to grab the latest piece of pop entertainment that they heard about on the evening news only for the object in question to be abandoned and quickly forgot about come mid-February. This year, why not invest in something a bit more unexpected and a little more heart-felt? Buy a copy of "Mega Man 2" for the dorks of your life and have them dust off their old Nintendo system. Go find a used first run copy of "Neuromancer", complete with authentic dog ear action! If you really want to blow their minds, go get your hands on a real vinyl record of one of their favorite old school bands or a VHS of a movie that isn't available on DVD.

Sure, you can go on to Xbox live, itunes, or journey to the local "Borders" and pick up the virtual downloads and reprints, but nothing says "I've put a lot of thought into this gift" like the real McCoy. Just remember that not all ancient tombs and plastic cartridges will cost you an arm and a leg; for just a few bucks and a little bit of extra time you'll give the nerds of this world a Christmas day they will remember for a lifetime.

Festivities and Gift Givin'

Happy Holidays internet people! Seeing as how the insatiable appetite of Christmas can no longer be contained to a single day of the year, I thought I would throw my hat into this seasonal arena by giving you all a merry little treat every day throughout the month of December. And what better way to dole out good cheer than by instructing all of you dunderheads on the proper methods of handing out gifts to all the deserving nerds in your life. Pay attention, because the list I will be providing may very well be the inspiration you need to make this the greatest Christmas your geeky friend will ever have. So without further ado, residents of the Island of Misfit Mascots, let's get this winter holiday a rollin'!