Monster A-Go-Go: The Devil

He goes by many names: Ba'al, Akuma, Iblis, Diablo, but in any English speaking country he is better known as the Devil. The granddaddy demon of the abyss and overlord of all that is wicked, if there is carnage and chaos there's a chance this figure may have had some involvement.

This past month I have talked about many of the evil beings in our narrative history and while many of them are nasty in their own right, credit needs to be given to the Devil himself for inspiring them in the first place. Without the Devil there is no evil and a strong argument could be made that all the great villains and monsters of lore were working through or working for the prince of darkness himself; seeding his evil wherever they roam. There are many different versions of the Devil, but it's when he goes completely unopposed that he works best.

Sure, if you are viewing the devil from the perspective of the Abrahamic religions he doesn't seem like too much of a threat. After all, he is a lesser being than god and most of his work in the bible is very indirect outside of Genesis. However, the idea of Satan when applied to a story where he is allowed to roam wild is when he becomes a truly ghastly thing to behold. Witnessing the actions of the pure manifestation of all evil with no barrier in check is enough to send chills down anyone's spine. He's more cunning than us, more powerful, and can manipulate humans as if they are marionettes and there's nothing to stop him.

One moment he is haunting a person as punishment for a crime, the next he is possessing an innocent to try and corrupt humanity, and when he's really feeling vile he just kills people in the most agonizing and psychologically depraved manner possible. Unlike most monsters, the Devil is given license to choose to be either a creature with a goal or a force of aimless destruction. This strange dichotomy amplifies his already frightening image as it ensures the audience will never be 100% sure on the Devil's MO. Even if an explanation is given, we can't be guaranteed it's the truth since most stories claim that he is an expert liar and the master of deception. With so many conflicting ideas and theories circling the King of the Underworld what can we truly attribute to this creature? Well, I have a thought....

Humans recognize when bad things happen and we don't like it very much. Many times, these catastrophes occur naturally and are completely out of our control. This gives us a diminished feeling of control on the world around us. However, there is one way we can harness it, one way that we can try to reason with it and give us the false impression that we can possibly change the outcome. We can label it. We can give it a name and a personality; we can project human characteristics on it. We can call it the Devil.

Sadly, as much as we'd like to design a character that explains these problems we ultimately can't escape from one undeniable truth. The Devil is the cocktail of Human fear and hubris, all the things that we can't explain or overcome and for that reason he will always be with us and will always be our greatest adversary.

Happy Halloween!

October Comes to a Close

Monster A-Go-Go was sort of a weird little experiment that I jumped into without a whole lot of thought or direction. I originally wanted to just talk about monsters that I thought were particularly cool and interesting, but the more I pondered on the subject, the more I realized I wasn't going to be able to chat about all my favorites. To make things even more stressful, after a few entries I regretted not having some sort of order to this whole mess. If Captain Hindsight were here I'm sure he would have told me to order them in some chronological manner or focus on genres and market recognition. Sadly, this year was not the case.

Luckily I intend on living another 12 months, so you can bet your last nickel that I'll be opening Pandoras box in October 2011 to try my hands on this thing once more. There will be better structure and probably more thorough critiques and analysis' of each monster. Considering how many creature didn't make this years cut I can guarantee an awesome presentation for next year.

By now you've probably noticed that there are still three days left in October and before you ask, yes, there will be one more Monster A-Go-Go. The final one will be a special treat. What is it? Can't tell you, but I hope it will put a smile on a few people's faces. Until then you'll just have to pass the time chewing on some candy corn and listening to your favorite haunted house records in the dark.

Have a great Halloween and thanks for reading my blog all this month. October 2010 has had the most postings my blog has seen yet. I'll have to remember to set aside time to make a monthly theme for my blog in the future. Christmas seems like an ideal season, don't you think?

Monster A-Go-Go: Dr. Frankenstein's Monster

I'm not sure how I got this late into the month of October without talking about Dr. Frankenstein's monster, but there ya go. This stuff happens. So let's get down to brass tacks and analyze what it is about this monstrosity that makes him so entertaining.

Originally created from the mind of Mary Shelley, the story of "Frankenstein" deals with a scientist who animates a creature composed of human parts. The creature is not an evil spirit or a hell-spawn sent to Earth to commit crimes of unspeakable evil. Dr. Frankenstein's creation is just a simple-minded, borderline mentally challenged, undead servant who is completely unaware of its own strength and capabilities. When the creature accidentally kills a young girl, the local villagers grab their favorite pitch-forks and torches and decide to destroy the unholy construct for its crime.

Over the years, and thanks to a little help from the Motion Picture Association of America, the monster has gone through some pretty drastic changes. First and foremost, it seems the monster has adopted it's creators name and is now universally accepted as being called Frankenstein. Many films and other forms of pop-culture have demonized the figure and changed it into an actual monster that goes about killing people under the command of the loony Dr. Frankenstein, as can be seen in most of the Hammer Horror pictures of the '60s. Despite these changes, there's a great deal of appreciation that goes out for the original design. Many horror fans like to wear Frankenstein Knowledge as if it were fastened to the breast of their coat like a badge of honor because true love of the Frank scores some major brownie points amongst the more rabid of guru frightenologists.

Despite his decline into becoming more of a mindless beast, there still exists redeemable versions of the creature; my favorite being his portrayal in "Monster Squad" where he befriends a group of children and even sacrifices himself in the end to save their lives'.

Sure, Frankenstein's monster may look hideous and he may be nothing more than a mound of walking corpses, but its his innocence that makes him so charming. And as much as I love the pure of heart monster I also enjoy the destructive titan. In either version it comes down to one key feature that sort of defines the beast, he has no true identity and tries desperately to understand the strange reality that is his existence. There's something very meta about this monster, an element that exposes the horror of being an outcast. How one might survive in a world that wants you dead. It's a troubling thought but a thought that deserves some attention.

Monster A-Go-Go: Henrietta

What a horribly heinous horror hag Henrietta is. Sam Raimi's word's, not mine. The Henrietta monster isn't exactly what I would call scary, but this monster deserves a lot of recognition just for being absurdly cool. Designed by now famous make-up artist, Greg Nicotero, and performed by a very young Ted Raimi, Henrietta is the ghoulie basement dweller that has made "Evil Dead" fans howl with delight for nearly 25 years.

So what is it about this creature that makes her so appealing? Maybe there's some deranged joy in seeing a sweet and kindhearted motherly figure being distorted into an inhuman demon. Or perhaps fans of the movie love her for her tenacity and brutal undead strength and vigor. Although I suspect the real reason people adore Henrietta so much is because she's a riot. Every scene involving Henrietta is intense, humorous, and over the top, causing her scenes to coagulate into some very fine entertainment. One gets the sense that there's an extra layer of care and precision woven into each of her appearances and this fact is worn on the movie's sleeves.

When compared to the other Deadites of the film, Henrietta often comes into the scene bearing wacky sound effects, distinct and memorable quotes, grotesque stop-motion effects, and some great energy that ricochets off the other actors. Henrietta is more than a monster, she's an abomination that pleases all necessary elements that a horror buff considers important. She's hilarious, repulsive, and downright sinister and we wouldn't have her any other way.

Henrietta, I salute you!

Monster A-Go-Go: Ghosts

You probably noticed something a little odd about today's picture. This is not an error, or some strange malfunction on Blogspot's part which caused them to upload a corrupted image file. No, the image is supposed to be blank and for good reason.

The subject of today's Monster A-Go-Go is the ghost. That eerie phantom specter that haunts the darkest rooms of our homes, mansions, ruined hospitals, apartment complexes, and wherever else we feel compelled to spend prolonged periods of our lives sheltered in. However, I'm not interested in talking about the lame white linen bed sheet ghosts that you might see in a Charlie Brown Halloween special, I'm talking about the invisible predators that stalk the living in their ever increasing quest to snatch away our sanity.

Similar to the Werewolf segment about a week ago, I'm not going to focus on any single noteworthy monster because they are all good in their own way. This doesn't mean I won't be writing about any of these shady characters though (in fact the next entry happens to fall neatly into this category), but for the moment I just want to celebrate all the scary figures that manage to evade ocular detection.

Ghosts are an impressive monster because they tear away at one of our most primal fears, our own imagination. Whenever a person is sitting alone in a quite place, surrounded by the creeping shadows of a room that draw longer and longer upon each corner and wall, that is when this monster makes itself known. The sudden creek of a settling house, the rustling of leaves and branches against our windows, the howl of a creature somewhere in the distance, these all evoke tense dread from a person trapped in this situation.

The very mythology that surrounds these phantom fiends suggests that they feed off our paranoia as part of their hunt. A ghost will torment their victim slowly by starting small; moving objects and making noises in the night. Targets of the ghosts' attacks will be dismissed by their peers and told that it is all in their head, thus isolating them from any sort of external help. As the nights go by the hauntings become more and more intense until finally the supernatural spirit strikes with a violent force of aggression, and then its too late. An ethereal ghast that gains pleasure or sustenance from the misery of others is a delightfully scary concept and the sadistic pleasure they derive from toying with their hapless human hosts just amplifies their already spooky presence.

Without a doubt, ghosts and apparitions are some of the oldest monsters in existence because they encapsulate the very common things that we all experience and fear. The most frightening thing in this world is that which we don't see and the power of our own imagination can sometimes work much better than any computer or make-ups specialty team.

To leave you with the timeless words of Alfred Hitchcock, "There is no terror in the bang, only in the anticipation of it".

Monster A-Go-Go: Evil Ed

Today's monster is so cool, Brewster!

Lot's of people hear that when you are making art its sometimes best to work off the foundation of a master in the field. Alfred Hitchcock's work is a great template to start from if you're leaning towards suspense. Unfortunately, this method churns out a lot of derivative cheap knock offs of some of his finer work. Take for example my Favorite Hitchcock film, "Rear Window". We've seen this one emulated hundreds of times but none ever comes close to recreating the charm of the original. This is a fault that originates from the next generation failing to alter the work, afraid that adjusting even the slightest of plot details would for some reason be sacrilege. When finished, we're left with a rip-off rather than a proper homage. In order to make the new property work you need to throw something strange into the mix; completely remove it from familiar grounds and use the inspiration as a launch point for the new vehicle. Use something as fresh as - Oh, I don't know. Maybe vampires?

"Fright Night" is as much a parody of horror films as it is the real McCoy. Long before the meta fictional scary movie handbooks of "Scream" or "Zombie Survival Guide", people of the 1980s were given this excellent horror/comedy about a boy who spies on his nextdoor neighbor only to discover he's a vampire (Get the "Rear Window" talk now?). Its got a great plot, terrific special effects, and gives loyalists all they could want. The cherry on top of this delicious sundae comes from the outstanding performances which includes a remarkable Peter Cushing analog played by "Planet of the Apes" alumni, Roddy McDowell. Seasoned veterans aside, there is one youngin' who puts on his best purple Galactus costume and starts chewing up the scenery whenever he is ushered into frame, Evil Ed.

When we first meet the character he is introduced as the best friend and foible to the lead actor. Despite not being all that important to the plot of the first half of the film he still outshines everyone around him. With his hilarious catch-phrases, strange cadences, and sometimes alien behavior he entices the audience by offering up a perfectly relatable "other guy" stereotype. He's that strangely annoying friend that everyone knows and tolerates because of their authentic charming personality. The actor here appears to have been poured into this role's shoes and communicates these feelings very effectively.

Not to spoil too much, but halfway through the movie the antagonist vampire turns poor little Evil Ed into one of his dark minions of the night, and this is where the performance skyrockets out of our planets gravitational pull. Watching him transform from the misguided youth with a fancy for the occult, to the rudest guest you could possibly welcome in your home is fascinating to say the least. There's something hypnotic about how he can act so differently while in the monster make-up while still channeling all the things that made him recognizable as his earlier human self. There's not so much of a tonal shift here as an increase in energy. consider it a lateral movement in appetite at the very least.

They say that Teenagers can be frightening, but I don't think any concerned parents have imagined anything as twisted as Evil Ed. This character is the nerdy monster kid who got his break in life. He was offered the chance to become what he loved and to grow into a much more powerful individual. The film never explores what possible route this change could have brought, like the possibility of seeking vengeance against any bullies who troubled him in the past, but in a way we don't need to. We can see the joy in his eyes and the madness that's flooding his brain. Dracula may be reserved, and the younger vampires like the one from "Let the Right One In" come across as too vulnerable and shy to let their true self show, but Evil Ed has no inhibitions. He loves what he's become and he lets it all hang out.

Monster A-Go-Go: Michael Meyers

For my money's worth, Mike Meyers is the king of slasher villains. Why do I hold him in such high regard? Take a look at the ending credits to the original "Halloween" film, you'll notice that there is no entry for Michael Meyers, only for something called "The Shape". How terrifying is that? "The Shape", as to imply that it is no man, to suggest that even though we know his name, even though we see him as a child, even though Dr. Loomis can confirm that it is a real man behind the mask, we are still unsure as to whether or not we are actually looking at a person.

Mike Meyers works because he is a contradiction. Here we have something that is beyond a shadow of a doubt a normal man, and yet he exhibits all the characteristics of something unnatural. He cannot be killed. He shows no emotion. he has an unsettling pace and determination to accomplish his goals. A supernatural explanation should be given and would be acceptable, and yet there is never any shred of evidence found to suggest this. We instead have a person who we can't explain; an anomaly that goes beyond a mere freak genetic deviation and explores the realms of the unknown. To complicate matters, we can't even reason or communicate with it on even the simplest of reptilian logic. We have no understandings of its motives and are left completely puzzled by who or what it is beyond a name and a child's face.

Take a look at the other house hold names of horror for just one second. We know that Dracula is an undead being with specific wants and weaknesses. Frankenstein was constructed from various human parts and brought back with science. Jason was a boy who was drowned and comes back as an undead killing machine. Even the ambiguous Freddy was a pedophile who was burned and comes back from the dead via dark magic to kill us in our dreams. Mike Meyers is something else.

Mike Meyers is the most mysterious monster out there and his inexplicable existence is what makes him such a powerful nightmare. There's nothing worse than the fear of the unknown and old Mikey here sure keeps us shrouded in the dark. Let's hope some idiot in Hollywood doesn't screw this up by getting the bright idea of doing an origin story to try and explain his pa... oh wait. Goddamn you, Rob Zombie.

Monster A-Go-Go: Freddy Krueger

Bela Lugosi, Boris Karloff, Lon Chaney Jr/Sr, these are the names of horror. In the great era of black and white screams, there was a lot more depth to the creature on screen than make-up and clever writing. The monsters themselves needed emotion and character, we needed legendary performances in order to creep us out and the stars at the time were more than happy to deliver. in the '80s, the monsters that were being birthed didn't have a whole lot to say, it was less about internalizing the beasts and just accepting them as mindless brutes. While this can and ultimately was a good thing, it meant that most people never knew who was behind the mask and rarely did they need to know. However, there was one creature who consistently had the same actor come back to the stage time and time again, Freddy Krueger.

Unlike Michael Meyers or Jason, Freddy was a villain who talked. Not only that, but he liked a good jibe, pun, and sarcastic quip. He was a campy baddy who ate up the scenery and continued to deliver the laughs alongside the horror no matter who was behind the director's chair or inking the latest script. With such a large ego and super inflated stage presence, the character demanded strong talent to fill his shoes. Thankfully, the world was blessed with the brilliant Robert Englund.

Until recently with this year's remake, Robert Englund has always been Freddy. Overshadowing his peers, Freddy Krueger had the honor of maintaining the same look and personality for around 3 decades of fun filled frights. Sure, maybe he was a little goofy looking and after a few entries in the series it became more about the jokes than anything truly scary, but we still have Mr. Englund to thank for his amazing performance. Freddy was more about making something timeless, a being that would become a piece of historical cinematic art. Freddy is the poster-child for '80s horror and is now the very bottled essence that defined an entire generation of terror.

We all know and love Freddy (Strange considering he's a child molester), and its all due to that quirky personality. He's vile and cruel, but at least he'll make you laugh your way to the grave. Thank you Robert Englund, thank you for reminding us that sometimes its the actor that truly makes the difference.

Monster A-Go-Go: The Thing

Imagine being stationed at a remote arctic base, hundreds of miles from civilization. No forms of communication with the outside world beyond a crude radio that works so long as the snow isn't causing a whiteout. There's very little entertainment and the only other people there are a handful of researchers and a couple of snow dogs. Now imagine that on top of all these other horrendous living conditions, there's a shape shifting alien being slowly killing off all of your team and no one knows who to trust.

The creature known only as, The Thing, from John Carpenter's movie of the same name is one of those creatures that works well on a psychological level but also a very physical one. John Carpenter's movie is a remake of a classic horror movie, which is based on a short story entitled, "Who Goes There?". When you have the premise of a creature systematically killing off people and assuming their identities and trapping the protagonist amongst friends who may no longer be his allies is a bone numbing experience of clockwork horror. Where John Carpenter went one step further though, is with the creature's gruesome transformations.

Rather than just depict a monster constantly in human or dog shapes, the remake of "The Thing" draws open the curtains to reveal a macabre sideshow of terror that invites the audience to question the very nature of how such effects were done and begs, "Is this thing real?" The visceral quality of The Thing is like looking at an operating table where everything has gone wrong. All the various parts and components that would make up an organic life-form are all there, but in much greater number and thrown about haphazardly into a jury-rigged monstrosity.

The gooey features of flesh, bone, and whatever else a mind can imagine draws upon the fear of body horror; fear of ones own shape and functions. There's something strange about seeing a chest cavity opening into a maw of gnashing teeth, or watching a man's head escape from its body as a living crab entity. What's worse, because it can assume whatever form it wants, it has no limitations. If the being needed extra limbs or mouths or claws to flense it's victims, it could grow them.

This particular monster scores quite high on the gross-out meter and is why it is so celebrated amongst horror fans. When a creature attacks both mind and stomach, you know you're in for one hell of a ride.

Monster A-Go-Go Future entries and FF Review

Got a little side tracked these last few days. To make up for it I will be posting multiple Monster A Go-Go articles on any given day. Also, I am still finalizing the whole FF review, I've decided to instead do a three part review that covers more than one FF title. This should all be going up next week.

Monster A-Go-Go: Alex

Not all things that go bump in the night require their actors to wear heavy prosthetic make-up. Alex From both the novel and movie, "A Clockwork Orange" is one of the most vile and disgusting beings that has ever been imagined. What makes him even more repulsive though, is that he is meant to be a person we can all relate to.

Unlike the usual boogeymen who haunt our creative minds, Alex is a man who is unnervingly real. He is the boy we've all heard about, the one with no moral compass, the complete hedonist who follows anarchy to the very letter. Frighteningly, he not only enjoys his perverse indulgence of sex and violence but he sees a sort of artistry in it.

When reading the passages from the book or watching the visual techniques from the film, the viewer gets a clear understanding that Alex sees no wrong in what he is doing. Unlike the sympathetic villain who is out for revenge or trying to prove something to the world, Alex, when boiled down to the very dregs of his soul, is a calculating despicable youth who will stop at nothing to to see his chaos realized. Unlike many antagonists who sow fear and destruction because they wish to see the world plunged into disarray, Alex is the humanoid hurricane arch-type, a very force of nature that can't help but be compelled to do the things it does. There's something unsettling about this character quality. The idea that a man feels as though he has to be wicked; that in some unimaginable fashion the world needs a person like him.

Monsters come in all shapes and sizes but none is more terrifying when they wear the skin of a human. Alex is the very image of society gone wrong and reflects a terrifying possibility that lurks within us all.

Monster A-Go-Go: Werewolf

I'd rather not have you suffer the pain of having to listen to me geek out about quite possibly my favorite kind of monster, so this one will be short.

Werewolves, or lycanthropes, are one of the most interesting types of monsters from classic supernatural lore. The idea of a person being stricken by an incurable curse that controls their very mind and body is both a terrifying and compelling plot element.

On one hand, you become a mindless beast who preys upon your friends and neighbors. Unable to control the urge to kill those you may know or love. On the other, the curse of the werewolf is cathartic; an indulgent experience of complete freedom and chaos as you assume a new form that disguises your actions and allows you to do anything your wildest dark imaginings can create.

There's a great internal struggle that weighs on those afflicted with the curse and it ends up making the lycanthrope monster a much more emotionally appealing creature. they're sick, they're savage, and more importantly they're us. Unlike the vast majority of demons and ghosts that haunt our fiction, this is a nightmare that still clings desperately to a sliver of humanity.

Monster A-Go-Go: Godzilla

After nuclear weaponry was created people began to fear the consequences of entering into the atomic age. As a result, Hollywood, and just about everyone who owned a camera at the time, decided it was best to capitalize on those fears by ushering in a bizarre era of movie history where classic monsters were out, while giant insects and radioactive beasts from the deep were in. These movies didn't have the same heart and soul that the classic monsters had and most knew it would be nothing more than a fad hanging around until the collective sighs of disapproval shooed it all away like some pesky lice. However, there was one monster that arose during this time period who would have a lasting influence on cinema; a colossal lizard by the name of Godzilla.

Created by our friendly neighbors over in Japan, the very same people who had the misfortune of experiencing the strength of the atom first hand, Godzilla was a being born from nuclear carelessness. A massive creature of destruction, Godzilla would find himself reappearing in Japanese theater houses over and over again as he rampaged across Tokyo, or whatever Japanese city would have him, and did battle with other equally absurd goons.

I'm not going to lie and say that Godzilla is first rate entertainment, but there is something mysteriously appealing about its premise. We have a creature born from the destructive tendencies of man who has now come back to punish us. He's enormous, almost indestructible, and can breath a gamma ray. Sadly, because we didn't have the fancy computers back then like we do today, the only real way to realize a creature like Godzilla was to put a guy in a large foam rubber suit. The result was pretty hilarious although intriguing none the less.

On a side note, the most interesting thing about Godzilla movies for me is how much fun they would be to make. You have a crew of artists build a model city and then have a man in a lizard costume destroy that very model city and put it all to film. To me that is a dream job that probably can only be acquired via nepotism, meaning unless I find myself in the position to make bed fellows with a Japanese movie producer, I'll never have this sort of luxury.

Godzilla may not be the scariest thing around, but his movies are loads of fun. There's a certain primal satisfaction to it all which is why I believe he went on to become such a recognizable household name. Godzilla ranks up there with even the best Universal monsters and he is definitely deserving of our love and respect.

GO GO GODZILLA!

Monster A-Go-Go: Radu Molasar

Here's an obscure one. Michael Mann is a director best known for his fast beat vigilante crime films, such as "Heat" and "Public Enemy". Once upon a time though, the young Michael Mann tackled the film adaptation of the novel "The Keep". The results were not so pleasant.

Clocking in at around 4+ hours, the studio demanded that Mann reduce the run-time and release a movie under 2 hours. After what I'm sure was a lot of debate, the studio finally released their own cut that clocked in at around an hour and a half. The movie was an incoherent mess and was derided by both critics and audiences alike. The author of the book went on record saying he hated the movie and Michael Mann was left wondering about the project that could have been.

Mann would eventually release his own cut to home video that was around two and a half hours. This new version gathered a moderate home video release but it was too late to recover from the loses. Despite the failings of the film, it managed to find a strong cult following thanks to the feverish idolization of the movie's monster, Radu Molasar.

Radu Molasar is a malevolent demon living inside an abandoned citadel whose primary goal in life is to kill off Nazi soldiers or anyone else who dares enter the cold stone walls of the keep. Sounds simple, but Molasar is not a creature to mess around with. Even though he possesses a host of supernatural powers that could easily dismember his prey, Molasar also happens to have a frightening physical appearance. Measuring upwards of a towering 7 feet with a body build that suggests he could snap a person in half just by flexing his bicep is enough to make even the strongest of men wet themselves with fear. This is not the ghastly spirit you want to pick a fight with and his eerie otherworldly presence in the movie only helps to amplify his already unsettling persona.

Oh, and did I mention he has no skin? You probably couldn't tell based on the picture.

Molasar is the very reason this movie is still talked about today (that and maybe the sound track by "Tangerine Dream")and is the sole reason why it manages to fit itself so nicely into the cannon of horror classics. If you are interested in getting your hands on a copy you're going to have to know some bootleggers or find a copy of the VHS because it was sadly never released on DVD due to its poor reception. Still, if you are a fan of movie monsters I eagerly encourage you to go through all the channels to hunt down a copy because Molasar is definitely worth the effort.

Monster A-Go-Go: Dracula

Little did Bram Stoker realize in 1897 that he would be creating the most legendary of horror icons when he penned the epic horror masterpiece, "Dracula". Within the generation of a single novel, the very mythology and lore was set loose to devour an eager public and become the dominant image of 20th century terror, lasting well into the modern age. There's no denying that vampires are the big-wigs of scares and none is more important than the grandfather ghoul himself, Dracula.

Unlike many monsters, the chilling nature of Dracula stems directly from his humanity. Without the proper tools and equipment gathered from you local church or vegetable market, Dracula appears to be nothing more than a regular human.

Dracula is a smooth player who's dignity and style have all the ladies swooning and the men coming over to his castle to watch the Football game. He's completely unassuming. But buried beneath his almost human frame is a blood-sucking demon who happens to be hellbent on turning you into a hollowed husk of beef jerky.

Its this quality that makes Dracula, and all vampires for that matter, so dreadful. They remind us that murderers and monsters lurk amongst our own and plays on the natural fear we have for one another. The person living next door could be a serial killer, but you would never know it from his friendly hospitality and good demeanor. This primal fear and mistrust we have for even the closest of friends and family is the driving force behind our interest in vampire stories.

As a result of this universal paranoia we have for one another, Dracula has risen from his grave time and time again to conquer most of the world's pulp fiction. World wide Dracula has appeared in books, movies, comic books, video games, and just about every other form of popular expression one can imagine. He's just as much a slice of wholesome Americana as he is British legend or Japanese myth.

Now with so many adaptations of Dracula, one must assume that I have a favorite. Well, if you must know, and if I must choose, then I will say that Christopher Lee's portrayal in the classic Hammer horror pictures claims my number one spot for greatest vampire ever. No one can beat his performance; Lugosi fans may call foul, but Christopher Lee is just hardcore.

Monster A-Go-Go: Pumpkinhead

If you were to ever sit me down and have a long conversation about horror movies, it wouldn't be long before I start talking about "Pumpkinhead". "Pumpkinhead" is not the best scary movie in town, but it is a pretty good low-budget monster movie.
While the sequels are abysmal, the original I hold in high regards as one of my all time favorite 1980s fright films. So why so much adoration for a film that requires a hefty supply of qualifiers when describing it? Because the monster himself is amazing.

Designed by Stan Winston, the genius special effects artist responsible for "Jurassic Park", "Aliens", "Predators" and most recently "Iron Man", Pumpkinhead is one of those creatures that thrives off visual presentation. Pumpkinhead is just a neat looking ghoul and when you throw hillbilly voodoo, satanic demons spirits, and Lance Henriksen into the bag you've got yourself a party mix that anyone can enjoy.

The plot of the film is basic, but it supplies the right amount of motivation to set all the individual pieces in motion. Pumpkinhead is both a spirit of vengeance and a demon of unimaginable evils. There's a creepy atmosphere of mystery that surrounds Pumpkinhead that effectively pumps the audience up and gets them prepared for his grand stage entrance towards the end of the film. Once he steps into frame and we get a good long look at his nightmarish physique, we the audience feel as though we are staring into the mouth of madness; gazing at terror incarnate.

Sure, Pumpkinhead is not the best monster movie out there, and the limitations stem from the low production values of the film. Despite these short comings, the very image of Pumpkinhead is so rewarding that it ends up overshadowing any flaws that might exist anywhere else in the film. If you're a fan of special effects and make-up, the original Pumpkinhead movie is something you need to check out.

Monster A-Go-Go: Jason Voorhees

Beginning somewhere in the late 1970s and continuing throughout the 1980s, movie studios were releasing a plethora of slasher horror films that would introduce the world to a heap of iconic villains. Many horror fans agree that the abundance of such legendary monsters was similar to the classic stories that Universal Studios used to release back in the black and white film days.

Unfortunately, while I enjoyed a lot of these horror icons as a child I'm starting to lose interest in most of them as I grow older. There will always be a time and place for figures like Freddy Kreuger and Pinhead, but that place was the 80s and 90s. For whatever reason they don't have the timeless appeal of Dracula or Frankenstein's monster. Beyond Mike Meyers, very few of the monsters from that era seem memorable, although there is one who manages to stumble over the fence and remain an interesting character even today, Jason Voorhees.

Jason is the very epitome of the slasher villain. Sure he's a supernatural being but that doesn't stop him from killing his victims with very tangible devices. Jason is an unstoppable beast that thirsts for blood and revenge and that's why the audience loves him.

One of the most intriguing things about Jason is that unlike many movie monsters he has a legitimate excuse for embracing the cliche of killing young teenagers who have sex. In the original Friday the 13th it is explained that the reason Jason drowned at Camp Crystal Lake was because the teenage camp councilors who were supposed to be watching the lake as Life Guards were off devirginizing one another. This is kind of a funny concept and gives a decent enough excuse to watch stupid horny teens get mutilated in inventive ways. There's tons of humor in Jason movies too, but they never reach the same level of camp that the "Nightmare on Elm St." series does, which is a good thing. The deaths are inventive and gory and the movies always provide the perfect body count that one would want/expect from such a franchise.

He may not be a big hit with the critics and he may not be the most sophisticated creature around, but when it comes to good old fashion murder, you can't go wrong with little old Jason Voorhees, or Mrs. Voorhees for that matter either. By the way, no matter how silly Jason was/is -


this scene is still one of the scariest moments in movie history.

Happy Halloween

Since the epic FF13 review is taking so long to get written up, I'll be talking about some of the best movie monsters this month in honor of the greatest holiday there is, Halloween. So grab the candy corn and put on your most ghoulish Trick 'R Treatin' masks, because we're going to celebrate October the only way I know how!

Holy Cow!

Working on something huge this month! To tide you all over while you wait, I'll be posting my long awaited review of "Final Fantasy 13". I feel as though I have a lot to say about that game, so it may be a two parter.

Blue Bomber in the Distance

Unlike many other hardcore gamers I don't have much claim to fame. While I'm definitely a good player, I am in no way a phenomenal one. If I practice hard enough I can take down some of the heavy weights like "Battletoads" but in general I have no natural talent that would put me up there with the legends of platform gaming (If such a group even exists).

However, the one series I can honestly say I'm damn good at is "Mega Man". These were some of the first games I can recall playing and as a result I become somewhat of a zen master. To me these games consumed a large part of my childhood and have sculpted me into the blue bomber loving adult that I am today. So when I heard that Capcom was announcing a "Mega Man Online" game as well as something called "Mega Man Universe" that encapsulates almost all the classic experience into one open-ended game, I nearly feinted. I felt it was good enough that Capcom had given me brand spankin' new Mega Man classic titles for download on our current generation consoles, but this raised the bar a few notches. There was demand once again to see our favorite tiny robot, and Capcom wasn't going to sit idly by and let the opportunity to milk a franchise pass them by. These new games were just the beginning.

Recently Capcom announced that they will be developing the long awaited "Mega Man Legends 3" project for Nintendo's 3D handheld console, the 3DS. Some of you out there may not understand how amazing this is for me, so let me give you a brief history.

"Mega Man Legends" was the first game in the series to bring the Astro Boy clone into the gorgeous realm of a third dimension. The game had fun characters, an interesting story, and excellent gameplay (Quiet, you naysayers!). A few years later they made a sequel which was better in every way possible. However, the second entry ended in a cliff hanger that was never resolved. Fans waited patiently for a follow-up but never received one. Oh, and did I mention that "Mega Man Legends 2" was released back in 1999!?

Eleven years we have been waiting! Over a decade we have desperately clung to the illusion that maybe we would get some kind of wrap up to the story. As the years passed, many of us gave up hope.

Thankfully, the gaming gods are blessing us with the game that should have been. As an adult I am just as thrilled at this announcement as I would have been as a child (perhaps more so) and with all the other Mega Man titles in the works, it looks like there is still a lot of love in the gamer community's collective heart to demand more Mega Man properties and continue his nonstop dominion over all gaming territories alongside Mario.

Come to think about it, if they are making a new Legends title, could we possibly see another "Breath of Fire" somewhere down the road?

Summer '10 Comes to a Close.

Wow, when did October sneak up on us? Well, seeing as how children have nestled back into schools all across the country I suppose we can officially make the call that the summer movie season is over.

2010 was kind of a sloppy year in all regards for movies. The early horror and romantic comedies that polluted our theaters in the early winters were awful, the spring date films were boring, and the big-budget action summer movies gave us little reason to leave our comfortable homes for overpriced popcorn and 3D glasses. Despite the lows there were a few noteworthy films you should have seen this summer and while there were probably some decent limited release indie films that are not on this list, don't be offended at their absence, I simply was unable to see them. With out further delay, let's get this list rolling!


"Toy Story 3"

Talk about kicking off the summer right. After the dower Memorial Day "Prince of Persia" and "Iron Man 2" I was already building myself up to withstand a tidal wave of disappointment. Luckily "Toy Story 3" burst on to the scene and salvaged what could have been an agonizing first month and a half of summer films.

"Toy Story 3" managed to perfectly wrap up one of the greatest trilogies of all time and reintroduced the world to characters we fell in love with almost 15 years ago. The movie strikes gold in almost every conceivable way and gave a perfect farewell performance to all the fans who grew up loving these characters.


"Inception"

Hype doesn't even begin to describe what was stirring around the trailers for Christopher Nolan's follow-up to the "Dark Knight". After shattering box-office records with a comic book film, people were desperately waiting to see what the surreal visionary had in store with his next project that delved into the very stuff of dreams.

Headed by an all-star cast and riding the path of a screenplay Nolan had been working on for years, the quality came through in a fantastic way. The movie was not exactly what people were expecting and to many it was probably viewed as a disappointment; but the visual artistry, the contribution of each of the actors, and the devilishly clever script that takes a five layer deep puzzle-box story and boils it down to a level that is completely accessible to the audience was incredible.

"Inception" is further proof that Nolan is a bread winner who will continue to delight us with rich character studies for years to come.


"Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World"

Take a comic book that has been revered as one of the most important achievements of the past decade, put it in the hands of the brilliant master mind auteur behind films like "Shaun of the Dead" and "Hot Fuzz", and package it into a perfect date stamp film that echoes the culture and style of an entire generation and you've got "Scott Pilgrim".

Despite doing poorly at the box office, this is a movie that will have legs for years to come. Critics praised the bold new directions this movie dared to take audiences and its bizarre style somehow managed to condense and package the often times misunderstood ADD generation of geek pop-culture and present it in a romantic comedy with some spectacular action scenes to boot.

Summer action films typically require ingredients such as explosions, romance, and entertaining characters to be successful. "Scott Pilgrim" did more than bring the ingredients to the table, it rearranged the whole paradigm and gave us a taste of things to come. Don't kid yourself into thinking this was a one time event; despite its failure to earn back its production costs we'll be seeing a lot of copycats down the road as creative talents try to emulate this fresh new style.


"The Town"

Remember when Ben Afleck was sort of a running joke? Remember when people would point to movies like "Gili" or "Reindeer Games" and roll their eyes pretentiously as they dismissed his ability contribute anything to the film industry. Well some of us appear to have forgotten that ol' Ben had once upon a time won an Oscar alongside his heterosexual life partner, Matt Damon, when the two of them wrote "Good Will Hunting". Some might argue it was a fluke while others shouldered the credit to Matt, but once Afleck hit the director's chair it became obvious that he was a man who understood story structure.

As a spiritual continuation to his first film "Gone Baby Gone" Ben Afleck returned to basics to give us a simple crime drama that we've all seen before but never in this way. He wasn't reinventing the wheel or anything, but he was showing a practiced hand, a hand that painstakingly gave us everything we needed from a genre that doesn't get the same adoration like it used to. Everything about this movie oozed with perfection, and if it doesn't at least get an Oscar nod for best picture it had better take home some supporting actor/actress titles because these people stole the show.