Ravenous Winter Festival Geeky Shopping Guide. Day 6: Fuel

So many people neglect the all important stocking stuffer gift. Today the decorative footwear usually just hangs impotently over a spurious gas powered fireplace with a plastic log inside, begging to be filled with treats and candies. In most houses I seriously doubt that people even hang the stockings at all; its just another $10 wasted on some home decor that gets overshadowed by the nativity scene and chorus of singing robotic penguins. This year I suggest you bust out those cherished holiday booties and fill them with the food your obsessive friend craves; junk food!

Have you ever entered your friend's room and noticed the mound of empty Mountain Dew cans or the field of silvery Pop-tart wrappers lining the floor? Ever get the feeling that everything they own is covered in a thin layer of Dorito particulates? Well, there's an explanation for all of this. Whether they spent the previous evening pwning newbs or reading Neil Gaiman's "American Gods" for the 100th time, you can be certain that these inhuman feats of endurance and stamina came courtesy of companies like the Pepsi Corporation. So why not give them that little extra spark of energy they need this Christmas by stuffing their garish red socks with all the sugar salted brain stimulants they could hope for.

Ravenous Winter Festival Geeky Shopping Guide. Day 5: Drew Struzan Art Book

Today marks my 100th post on the Feudal Cactus blog and to commemorate this monumental event I will be sharing with you a very special holiday gift idea that is very dear to my heart. Normally I suggest broad categories of items that you can buy for your friend, but today's topic is simply not the case. If someone you love is a huge movie buff (like myself) than you can't go wrong with buying them the art collection of Drew Struzan. Who's Drew Struzan, you ask? Well, let me educate you.

Remember back before the millennium switch when movie posters used to be cool? Back when they were all hand painted and provided an interesting narrative that gave you an idea of what to expect when entering the theater. Well, most of those iconic images (not all) were painted by renowned artist Drew Struzan, who gave us an entire generation of memorable movie posters to tantalize the hungry cinema masses. Today, movie posters are just uninspired composite shots of the actors staring out at the audience. What's even more shameful, is that many of these posters have taken their compositional design and layout directly from Drew Struzan's style. Clearly a case where the students did not become the masters.

Thankfully, for those of us that remember a simpler time when real artistry was employed for movie advertisement, we can now own a book that contains all the great illustrations created by the master himself. By now you might be asking yourself, "Well, how do I know if my movie friend even cares for Drew Struzan artwork?" Great question, here's how you know. Are they over the age of 20? If yes, then buy them the book. If no, hit them over the head with the book. There, holiday shopping is complete.

Ravenous Winter Festival Geeky Shopping Guide. Day 4: Feigning Interest

You say that you have no money? That you can't scratch together enough spare change to even buy them a lollipop for their Christmas stocking, and you don't want to have to sell those classic Devo hats sitting in your closet for the extra cash needed for that all important gift. Worry not, for today I will be giving you some advice that won't cost you a thing other than your precious time.

Have you ever considered indulging your nerdy friend's zealotry by sitting down and stroking their ego for a little while? No, this isn't anything sexual, if it were I would have used cliche words like "yule log" in the previous sentence. Set aside a few hours/days around Christmas to listen to all their silly and borderline insane infatuations. You'll never know how little you knew or how little you cared about "Babylon 5" until you suffer through an eight hour rant fest with someone who hasn't seen the light of day in 7 months. By just lending an ear you'll go a long way towards making your friend happy.

While you're at it, also ask about their personal projects, whether they be a sci-fi epic they have been writing for the better part of a decade or those fanfics about the oh-so interesting topic of the apparent lesbian relationship between Asuka and Rei that you must have missed when they forced you to watch "Neon Genesis Evangelion". This might be painful but remember that it is free and what are a few hours of your time compared to the pints of blood sold for that "Inception" DVD they've been asking for. Actually, now that I analyzed this whole thing, just dish out the plasma and save yourself a trip to the psychiatrist.

Ravenous Winter Festival Geeky Shopping Guide. Day 3: Memorabilia

Who wants a stupid "Halo" video game when you can get a coffee mug with Commander Chief's mug on it? When you are out of money or looking to get a secondary gift to compliment the one you've already purchased, why not got for a charming souvenir?

Thanks to the miracle of disposable income, people just can't seem to keep money in their pockets these days. Companies, being the clever green eyed devils they are, have quickly pounced on this opportunity to supply a nearly endless wave of merchandise for the world to consume. Your friend may consider themselves to be the biggest "Lord of the Rings" fan on the planet, but do they have the chibi Frodo t-shirt? What about the Gimli stein? Didn't think so.

People in general (nerds especially) obsess over their hobbies and interests. Why not feed that insatiable desire by giving them yet another piece of collectible merchandise or apparel. This year, give them the underwear that shows to the world just how much they love "Star Wars" or "World of Warcraft". Or keep their dignity in tact and buy them a themed lunchbox instead; your call.

(Fans of "Calvin and Hobbes" do not apply)

Ravenous Winter Festival Geeky Shopping Guide. Day 2: Collector's Editions

We geeky types love our collector sets. Whether they include bonus material not found in a standard product, collect a series of important or related objects together into one affordable box, or simply come packaged in a pretty lithograph or sleeve we'll almost always go for the capitalist money grab with the bells and whistles. Don't ask me why this is a fact, but it is. Nerds just can't get enough of it and will proudly display their unique and rare collections for everyone to see.

There is one issue with this gift idea; collector's editions are almost always more expensive than the standard edition. Sometimes the price gouging is nothing more than a few extra bucks, in other instances it can nearly double the normal retail price, while others' price tags could be considered war crimes against your wallet (Gotta refresh my knowledge of the Geneva Conventions). Sadly, its a pretty steep price to pay for a bobblehead, production book, or extra disc but at the very least you can use the price as blackmail against the recipient for future favors. Ah, don't you love the holidays?

Ravenous Winter Festival Geeky Shopping Guide. Day 1: Vintage

Forget about that new video game, comic book, or movie that has just hit store shelves. Everyone and their mothers (mostly their mothers since they will be the ones doing the shopping) will predictably be elbowing each other to grab the latest piece of pop entertainment that they heard about on the evening news only for the object in question to be abandoned and quickly forgot about come mid-February. This year, why not invest in something a bit more unexpected and a little more heart-felt? Buy a copy of "Mega Man 2" for the dorks of your life and have them dust off their old Nintendo system. Go find a used first run copy of "Neuromancer", complete with authentic dog ear action! If you really want to blow their minds, go get your hands on a real vinyl record of one of their favorite old school bands or a VHS of a movie that isn't available on DVD.

Sure, you can go on to Xbox live, itunes, or journey to the local "Borders" and pick up the virtual downloads and reprints, but nothing says "I've put a lot of thought into this gift" like the real McCoy. Just remember that not all ancient tombs and plastic cartridges will cost you an arm and a leg; for just a few bucks and a little bit of extra time you'll give the nerds of this world a Christmas day they will remember for a lifetime.

Festivities and Gift Givin'

Happy Holidays internet people! Seeing as how the insatiable appetite of Christmas can no longer be contained to a single day of the year, I thought I would throw my hat into this seasonal arena by giving you all a merry little treat every day throughout the month of December. And what better way to dole out good cheer than by instructing all of you dunderheads on the proper methods of handing out gifts to all the deserving nerds in your life. Pay attention, because the list I will be providing may very well be the inspiration you need to make this the greatest Christmas your geeky friend will ever have. So without further ado, residents of the Island of Misfit Mascots, let's get this winter holiday a rollin'!